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Jane Schildkroete

 

I Wish

 

Iím sad, disappointed, happy and excited.

So sad I canít get up and so excited I canít stand still.

Theyíre all there, taking turns to pop up in my heart and my head.

Wish I could control how they take their turn.

I try, and they pop up in the wrong order in defiance of my attempt.

Usually also at the wrong damn time.

Maybe they need each other.

Sadness forces hope to push happiness and excitement back up.

A stray thought will let sadness take me by surprise again.

 

I know that time will bring order. How do I become less impatient?

How do I just turn everything off until time has done its thing?

How do I keep disappointment out?

Why the hell did you have to put them there in the first place?

When you left, you took back your necklace, but you forgot to take the happy memories and daydreams.

Wish you could take them, too.

I want to call and tell you to come and pick them up.

Wish I could wrap them up and send them.

Wish I could give them to someone else.

Wish I could be cool.

Wish I had a reset button in my head.

 

Wish you would call and we could laugh.

No I donít.

 

Yes I do.

 

Itís unfair.

 

 

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